"A great fortune is a great slavery." Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Seneca was a Roman philosopher and statesman who was born just a few years before Jesus. He eventually became the tutor, then the advisor, of emperor Nero. Nero had him killed because he suspected Seneca of being involved in a plot to assassinate him.
This is such a short quote with such a deep and true meaning! The thought has crossed my mind many times, in different words of course. The more wealth and material things you accumulate, the more time it takes to manage, the more stress it's security causes, the more complicated it makes your life. Worldly wealth is frequently taken or destroyed by worldly things.
You can do more with more money, but in my experience, people who have more money buy more things. They have more stress from trying to manage and protect their possessions. I've worked for neurosurgeons and I've watched my father-in-law, who was a wealthy real estate investor. Renters trashed his property and disappeared without paying months of back rent. There were taxes, maintanence, insurance, negotiations, banks, mortgages, laws and regulations to worry about and keep track of. So many headaches. He lost everything when the real estate market crashed.
There certainly is a freedom that comes from living a simple life. Here is one more quote from Seneca:
"It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor."
That's an interesting perspective. It is like saying that you're only poor if you think your are. But I agree. Sometimes we can spend so much time persuing the things we want that we don't stop to relish or enjoy the things we have. If you don't enjoy what you have, it's almost like you don't have it. If you spend all your time working to get something more, then your quality of life is truely poor.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
The Great Bully
"When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find that it comes off in his hand, and that it was merely tied on to scare away the timid adventurers." Ralph Waldo Emerson
Even if you're not a literature or history buff, most of us remember the name from our high school or college literature classes. I did a quick scan of the wikipedia article on Ralph Waldo Emerson and learned (again) that he led the Transcendentalist Movement in the 1800's, was born and died in Massachusettes, and strongly supported abolitionism.
I like this quote because it paints a picture of a specific situation, but the concept can apply to so many situations in our lives. I'm one of those people who tests the water with my toe before I get in the water. I hesitate to attempt things unless I am reasonably sure they will work. I prefer to do extensive research before making decisions, and I'm risk adverse and don't like to take chances. But there were times in my life when I let go caution and pushed my way into the future blindly. From my experience in those times, I can agree with the quote above.
Usually, the things we fear and shy away from don't look nearly so menacing once we've faced them - once we've passed the proverbial line in the sand they draw. Once we pass that intimidating event or challenge in life, we often catch ourselves saying "Wow, that wasn't so bad!" Then we gain the confidence to try something else. Of course, if you are too afraid to try and always take the easy way out, you'll never experience this.
For the most part, we humans can do what we set our minds to. The two toughest obstacles are fear of failure and fading motivation. There are thousands of books (let alone quotes) on the subject, but the bottom line here is: Things usually look bigger, scarier, harder, and more risky than they really are.
Even if you're not a literature or history buff, most of us remember the name from our high school or college literature classes. I did a quick scan of the wikipedia article on Ralph Waldo Emerson and learned (again) that he led the Transcendentalist Movement in the 1800's, was born and died in Massachusettes, and strongly supported abolitionism.
I like this quote because it paints a picture of a specific situation, but the concept can apply to so many situations in our lives. I'm one of those people who tests the water with my toe before I get in the water. I hesitate to attempt things unless I am reasonably sure they will work. I prefer to do extensive research before making decisions, and I'm risk adverse and don't like to take chances. But there were times in my life when I let go caution and pushed my way into the future blindly. From my experience in those times, I can agree with the quote above.
Usually, the things we fear and shy away from don't look nearly so menacing once we've faced them - once we've passed the proverbial line in the sand they draw. Once we pass that intimidating event or challenge in life, we often catch ourselves saying "Wow, that wasn't so bad!" Then we gain the confidence to try something else. Of course, if you are too afraid to try and always take the easy way out, you'll never experience this.
For the most part, we humans can do what we set our minds to. The two toughest obstacles are fear of failure and fading motivation. There are thousands of books (let alone quotes) on the subject, but the bottom line here is: Things usually look bigger, scarier, harder, and more risky than they really are.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Conquering yourself
"He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city." Proverbs 16:31 (Solomon)
There are a couple different concepts that come to mind here.
#1. Ruling yourself, controlling your emotions and passions is not easy. That's putting it mildly. It's actually extremely difficult. It takes great strength and understanding. I say that because you may understand that losing your temper or allowing panic to overwhelm you disables you rather than helping, but you also need the mental fortitude to overcome such strong emotions.
#2. The text says that one who puts logic before emotional anger (think first, then respond instead of reacting = slow to anger) is BETTER than the mighty. It doesn't say "stronger" or "bigger". "Better" implies something different: the person who "rules his spirit" is more noble - and wiser. Not only is he a better person, but he is better off because he is not reaping the consequences of out-of-control emotions. All of us know what pain and suffering these can cause in our lives.
Interestingly enough, the Bible is supported by other philosophies on this subject. A quote in the Asian martial arts world is "He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior". Confucius
Aristotle said "Count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self."
Budda "It is better to conquer yourself than to win a hundred battles."
Benjamin Franklin "If passions drives you, let reason hold the reins."
You get the idea. Finally, I'll add that, as a Christian, I believe the mastery of oneself is a partnership between God and man. We make the choice, and we make our best effort. But so many humans try and fail again and again at overcoming their desires, as Aristole put it. This is why we pray and ask for the Holy Spirit to give us the strength we lack, and to show us how to proceed.
There are a couple different concepts that come to mind here.
#1. Ruling yourself, controlling your emotions and passions is not easy. That's putting it mildly. It's actually extremely difficult. It takes great strength and understanding. I say that because you may understand that losing your temper or allowing panic to overwhelm you disables you rather than helping, but you also need the mental fortitude to overcome such strong emotions.
#2. The text says that one who puts logic before emotional anger (think first, then respond instead of reacting = slow to anger) is BETTER than the mighty. It doesn't say "stronger" or "bigger". "Better" implies something different: the person who "rules his spirit" is more noble - and wiser. Not only is he a better person, but he is better off because he is not reaping the consequences of out-of-control emotions. All of us know what pain and suffering these can cause in our lives.
Interestingly enough, the Bible is supported by other philosophies on this subject. A quote in the Asian martial arts world is "He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior". Confucius
Aristotle said "Count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self."
Budda "It is better to conquer yourself than to win a hundred battles."
Benjamin Franklin "If passions drives you, let reason hold the reins."
You get the idea. Finally, I'll add that, as a Christian, I believe the mastery of oneself is a partnership between God and man. We make the choice, and we make our best effort. But so many humans try and fail again and again at overcoming their desires, as Aristole put it. This is why we pray and ask for the Holy Spirit to give us the strength we lack, and to show us how to proceed.
Monday, February 8, 2010
1,850 years later
"I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, yet sets less value on his own opinions of himself than on the opinions of others." Marcus Aurelius
Marcus Aurelius was a roman emperor around 160's and 170's. From reading quotes attributed to him, it seems he valued close and careful observation, independent thinking, and inner strength. If you've seen the movie Gladiator, Richard Harris plays the aging Marcus Aurelius for a few minutes before the jealous and power-hungry Commodus smothers him to death. Aurelius, not Harris. Harris survived for 2 more years after the movie was released.
This is what I get from the quote: Humans are selfish creatures. We care more about ourselves and whats going on in our lives than other people. We develop the illusion that the world revolves around us - we are the center of our universe. But we are so easily hurt and misguided by the opinions and criticism of others. Strangely enough, we are not so concerned about what's happening in the lives of others, but we care very much what they think of us.
It is amazing sometimes to see that social difficulties we face in modern times were present nearly 19 centuries ago! It's as if the human race does not grow or learn because every new generation has to start from scratch, make the same mistakes, and learn for themselves. I suppose we'd be better off loving others as ourselves, but not basing our decisions, and even our self image, on the criticism of our peers.
Marcus Aurelius was a roman emperor around 160's and 170's. From reading quotes attributed to him, it seems he valued close and careful observation, independent thinking, and inner strength. If you've seen the movie Gladiator, Richard Harris plays the aging Marcus Aurelius for a few minutes before the jealous and power-hungry Commodus smothers him to death. Aurelius, not Harris. Harris survived for 2 more years after the movie was released.
This is what I get from the quote: Humans are selfish creatures. We care more about ourselves and whats going on in our lives than other people. We develop the illusion that the world revolves around us - we are the center of our universe. But we are so easily hurt and misguided by the opinions and criticism of others. Strangely enough, we are not so concerned about what's happening in the lives of others, but we care very much what they think of us.
It is amazing sometimes to see that social difficulties we face in modern times were present nearly 19 centuries ago! It's as if the human race does not grow or learn because every new generation has to start from scratch, make the same mistakes, and learn for themselves. I suppose we'd be better off loving others as ourselves, but not basing our decisions, and even our self image, on the criticism of our peers.
Friday, February 5, 2010
2.5 years later...
After over two years of no posting here, I am changing the direction of this blog. I like wise quotes and sayings from all over the world. So I'll post my favorite quotes, why I like them, and what they mean to me. (It doesn't escape me that this means I'll be using a couple paragraphs to say what somebody else has already said in 10 words.) The posts will be shorter, and hopefully more frequent. This still relates to our minds and how we think about things, and how we combat the situations lifes life throws at us. So I am not starting a new blog or changing the name.
Ok, so for the first quote I'll throw a light-hearted one out. It makes people chuckle or smile when they hear it.
"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just be a horrible warning." Catherine Aird
No idea who Ms. Aird is, but she has a sense of humor. Both examples and warnings teach people who pay attention. The difference? A good example teaches you what to do and a warning teaches you what NOT to do.
This statement takes a "black and white" train of thought. You're either good or bad. If you arn't doing what's right, then you're wrong. Since the opposite of a good example is a bad one, and since people who do bad things almost always get bombed with bad consquences, you truely would be a "horrible warning"! I suppose if you do nothing, good or bad, and go nowhere as a result, you'll still be a warning to others of what NOT to do.
So take action and do something good! Others will follow and the world will be better because of it.
Ok, so for the first quote I'll throw a light-hearted one out. It makes people chuckle or smile when they hear it.
"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just be a horrible warning." Catherine Aird
No idea who Ms. Aird is, but she has a sense of humor. Both examples and warnings teach people who pay attention. The difference? A good example teaches you what to do and a warning teaches you what NOT to do.
This statement takes a "black and white" train of thought. You're either good or bad. If you arn't doing what's right, then you're wrong. Since the opposite of a good example is a bad one, and since people who do bad things almost always get bombed with bad consquences, you truely would be a "horrible warning"! I suppose if you do nothing, good or bad, and go nowhere as a result, you'll still be a warning to others of what NOT to do.
So take action and do something good! Others will follow and the world will be better because of it.
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Mind over Mind
The mind is a powerful thing. We truly don't use it to it's potential. One of the most powerful things you can do with your mind is to control and manipulate the mind itself. It is simply amazing how our perspectives and opinions have such a dramatic affect on how we experience life. Since perspectives and opinions are subjective and changeable, what we really have is the power to change the way we experience life. Let me share some quotes from Marcus Aurelius, a Roman emperor who came to power in 161 A.D.
"You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength."
"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."
Let me share a couple short stories from my own experience to support what he said here.
When I was 8 years old, I had bad, scary nightmares. There was one about being eaten alive by a crocodile, and another about a bear chasing me. And there were falling dreams. They all scared me to the point that I had hard time going back to sleep after waking up from one.
Then one night my dad told me, "Eric, before you go to sleep, decide in your mind that if you have a bad dream, you will change it to something good."
I was doubtful, "But Dad, I can't control what I dream! It just happens!"
My quiet and sincere father said, "Just try it. Decide before you sleep."
That night I had a dream that would only be terrifying to an 8-year-old, but it really scared me. There was a huge, red fire truck blaring it's horn, revving it's engine, and trying to run over me on city streets. I'd find 2 buildings so close together that I could run through and the fire truck could not follow. When I came out the other side, the fire truck would come roaring around the corner intent on flattening me.
After a couple frantic escape attempts, my subconscious mind remembered my decision. Instantly, I was surrounded by a beautiful park atmosphere. I was running and playing with my brother and everything was joyful and peaceful. From that night forward, I've had very few scary dreams, and the ones I did have never made me feel fear. I only thought they were weird. This was how I learned that if you fear something but face it with courage, it may turn out not to be as terrifying as you believed. I also learned what power your mind has over itself.
Fast-forward 25 years. I am now married and my pregnant wife has had some severe leg cramps in the middle of the night. The other night I woke up to her crying in pain. She was panicked, trying to move her cramp-paralyzed leg. I told her, "Sweetie, other types of pain you can fight by clenching your teeth and your muscles, and forcing your way through it. This is different. If you fight it, it will get worse. Slow down your breathing and take deep breaths. Try to imagine that your heartbeat is slowing down too. Let your arms and legs all go loose and limp. Let go completely and just relax your whole body. Don't try to move, just lie very still and concentrate on breathing and relaxing."
She did very well and in a few moments the cramp was gone. We can control our bodies with our minds, but first, we have to control the mind itself. A frantic, panicked mind cannot make the body relaxed. A calm mind can make the body calm. My wife just had to use a little will power to overcome and push aside the pain that was attacking her mind, and shift the focus of her thoughts.
In everyday life, this is huge! You can improve the way you experience life just by shifting the focus of your thoughts. Anyone can do this, it's not just for monks and hypno-therapists. When your mind turns to a negative outlook, you can always find something good to be thankful for. When fear and anger attack the mind, we can make the decision not to let them overwhelm us and to focus on what is really important. Once again, we have this incredible power of choice that God gave us as human beings, and there are so many ways to use it!
"You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength."
"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."
Let me share a couple short stories from my own experience to support what he said here.
When I was 8 years old, I had bad, scary nightmares. There was one about being eaten alive by a crocodile, and another about a bear chasing me. And there were falling dreams. They all scared me to the point that I had hard time going back to sleep after waking up from one.
Then one night my dad told me, "Eric, before you go to sleep, decide in your mind that if you have a bad dream, you will change it to something good."
I was doubtful, "But Dad, I can't control what I dream! It just happens!"
My quiet and sincere father said, "Just try it. Decide before you sleep."
That night I had a dream that would only be terrifying to an 8-year-old, but it really scared me. There was a huge, red fire truck blaring it's horn, revving it's engine, and trying to run over me on city streets. I'd find 2 buildings so close together that I could run through and the fire truck could not follow. When I came out the other side, the fire truck would come roaring around the corner intent on flattening me.
After a couple frantic escape attempts, my subconscious mind remembered my decision. Instantly, I was surrounded by a beautiful park atmosphere. I was running and playing with my brother and everything was joyful and peaceful. From that night forward, I've had very few scary dreams, and the ones I did have never made me feel fear. I only thought they were weird. This was how I learned that if you fear something but face it with courage, it may turn out not to be as terrifying as you believed. I also learned what power your mind has over itself.
Fast-forward 25 years. I am now married and my pregnant wife has had some severe leg cramps in the middle of the night. The other night I woke up to her crying in pain. She was panicked, trying to move her cramp-paralyzed leg. I told her, "Sweetie, other types of pain you can fight by clenching your teeth and your muscles, and forcing your way through it. This is different. If you fight it, it will get worse. Slow down your breathing and take deep breaths. Try to imagine that your heartbeat is slowing down too. Let your arms and legs all go loose and limp. Let go completely and just relax your whole body. Don't try to move, just lie very still and concentrate on breathing and relaxing."
She did very well and in a few moments the cramp was gone. We can control our bodies with our minds, but first, we have to control the mind itself. A frantic, panicked mind cannot make the body relaxed. A calm mind can make the body calm. My wife just had to use a little will power to overcome and push aside the pain that was attacking her mind, and shift the focus of her thoughts.
In everyday life, this is huge! You can improve the way you experience life just by shifting the focus of your thoughts. Anyone can do this, it's not just for monks and hypno-therapists. When your mind turns to a negative outlook, you can always find something good to be thankful for. When fear and anger attack the mind, we can make the decision not to let them overwhelm us and to focus on what is really important. Once again, we have this incredible power of choice that God gave us as human beings, and there are so many ways to use it!
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Perceptions
Perceptions are strange. They are involved in nearly every part of our lives, yet we can't trust them. They may tell us the truth. They may lie. They may come from someone else or originate in our own minds. They may be clear and objective, or distorted and twisted by a great many possible factors.
But we certainly cannot function without perceptions - without any way of viewing the world and everything we come in contact with. But where do they come from? First, they come from our experiences. Is there a certain name that you don't like, simply because you had a bad experience with a person who had that name? Are there places you don't like to go because of something that happened to you there? Maybe the name or the place isn't really bad in itself, but your perception of it has been colored by your experience with them. And make no mistake, a severely negative experience will always leave a deeper and longer lasting impression than a simply OK or uneventful experience. So even if you have many OK experiences with something, it's the one really unpleasant one that sticks in your brain and gets associated with it.
Perceptions may also come from other people. I worked with a woman one time who had a talent for finding something wrong or negative with everyone. I say it was a talent because the way she related her "findings" to me was so factual and sounded so objective that it seemed like they must be true. If I had believed her, everyone in our workplace was either incompetent, apathetic, lacked the needed experience, or just plain falling down on the job. Fortunately, I got to know those people and found that nearly everything I had heard was entirely unfounded. The department manager who was "in over her head" actually had a very good handle on things. The "dull and ditzy" lady was actually very intelligent. And the manager who was "irresponsible and lazy" simply had more to do than he could keep up with, even working evenings and weekends. If I had allowed my perceptions to be clouded by that woman's evaluations of those around her, I would have ended up with entirely different perceptions of all those people I worked with. Nobody's perfect, but forming your own honest opinion is better than taking someone else's.
Some people see something negative in everything. The glass is always half empty rather than half full. When other people do or say things they don’t like, they take it personally, as though that person deliberately insulted them and dislikes them. Or they may think there is something wrong with them which causes people to treat them so badly. The truth is that many people simply don’t realize how they come across. They don’t stop to consider how their words or actions make others feel. They mean no harm, they are just not paying attention and are probably totally unaware that they have so grievously injured the negative-minded receiver. The negative thinker makes everything seem worse than it really is and creates problems where there are none.
On the other side of the coin, some people believe that everyone has good and honorable intentions, and that every difficult situation will work itself out with no added effort on their part. Enter the “ostrich-with-its-head-in-the-sand”. While many people don’t mean any harm by their careless words, others are cruel and mean, allowing the way they’ve been treated to be thrust on those around them through their own behavior. The balance here is to understand others’ intentions and have as clear and unbiased a perspective as possible. Even though ignoring insults, intentional or unintentional, is usually the best strategy, you need to understand what is really going on around you in your own head. Most importantly, you need to understand that when people are unkind and cruel to you in their words and actions, it has more to do with them than you. They behave that way because of the way they are – because of the way they have allowed life’s hardships to poison and embitter them. It’s their problem, not yours to worry about.
When you realize this, it becomes easier to feel sorry for them. From this perspective, you can return good for evil, as Jesus taught. They may not change overnight, but make no mistake, your peaceful and friendly responses to their verbal attacks WILL make an impact. Looking at the life of Jesus as described in the Bible, He was kind and helpful to everyone, but He was no pushover or weakling. This is evidenced by His cleansing of the temple and His strong and direct responses to those who tried to trick and trap Him.
Your perception of others and of your own life can make a huge difference in your life. Experiences do help shape your perceptions, but stop and consider that whatever you allow or choose your perceptions to be, they will have a large impact on how you experience life. So the circle goes round and round...
But we certainly cannot function without perceptions - without any way of viewing the world and everything we come in contact with. But where do they come from? First, they come from our experiences. Is there a certain name that you don't like, simply because you had a bad experience with a person who had that name? Are there places you don't like to go because of something that happened to you there? Maybe the name or the place isn't really bad in itself, but your perception of it has been colored by your experience with them. And make no mistake, a severely negative experience will always leave a deeper and longer lasting impression than a simply OK or uneventful experience. So even if you have many OK experiences with something, it's the one really unpleasant one that sticks in your brain and gets associated with it.
Perceptions may also come from other people. I worked with a woman one time who had a talent for finding something wrong or negative with everyone. I say it was a talent because the way she related her "findings" to me was so factual and sounded so objective that it seemed like they must be true. If I had believed her, everyone in our workplace was either incompetent, apathetic, lacked the needed experience, or just plain falling down on the job. Fortunately, I got to know those people and found that nearly everything I had heard was entirely unfounded. The department manager who was "in over her head" actually had a very good handle on things. The "dull and ditzy" lady was actually very intelligent. And the manager who was "irresponsible and lazy" simply had more to do than he could keep up with, even working evenings and weekends. If I had allowed my perceptions to be clouded by that woman's evaluations of those around her, I would have ended up with entirely different perceptions of all those people I worked with. Nobody's perfect, but forming your own honest opinion is better than taking someone else's.
Some people see something negative in everything. The glass is always half empty rather than half full. When other people do or say things they don’t like, they take it personally, as though that person deliberately insulted them and dislikes them. Or they may think there is something wrong with them which causes people to treat them so badly. The truth is that many people simply don’t realize how they come across. They don’t stop to consider how their words or actions make others feel. They mean no harm, they are just not paying attention and are probably totally unaware that they have so grievously injured the negative-minded receiver. The negative thinker makes everything seem worse than it really is and creates problems where there are none.
On the other side of the coin, some people believe that everyone has good and honorable intentions, and that every difficult situation will work itself out with no added effort on their part. Enter the “ostrich-with-its-head-in-the-sand”. While many people don’t mean any harm by their careless words, others are cruel and mean, allowing the way they’ve been treated to be thrust on those around them through their own behavior. The balance here is to understand others’ intentions and have as clear and unbiased a perspective as possible. Even though ignoring insults, intentional or unintentional, is usually the best strategy, you need to understand what is really going on around you in your own head. Most importantly, you need to understand that when people are unkind and cruel to you in their words and actions, it has more to do with them than you. They behave that way because of the way they are – because of the way they have allowed life’s hardships to poison and embitter them. It’s their problem, not yours to worry about.
When you realize this, it becomes easier to feel sorry for them. From this perspective, you can return good for evil, as Jesus taught. They may not change overnight, but make no mistake, your peaceful and friendly responses to their verbal attacks WILL make an impact. Looking at the life of Jesus as described in the Bible, He was kind and helpful to everyone, but He was no pushover or weakling. This is evidenced by His cleansing of the temple and His strong and direct responses to those who tried to trick and trap Him.
Your perception of others and of your own life can make a huge difference in your life. Experiences do help shape your perceptions, but stop and consider that whatever you allow or choose your perceptions to be, they will have a large impact on how you experience life. So the circle goes round and round...
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